Friends jokes

Homework

    • The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

    Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

    Girl

    • A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.

    Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"

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    • Missile

    • Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

  • 1
    • Friends memes

    Teacher

    • I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

    Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

    Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

  • 2

    • Condom

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

    Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.

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    • Grandpa

    • I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."

    Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."

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    • Friend

    • My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

    As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

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    • Game

    • Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

    Friend 2: Yup.

    Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

    Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

    Friend: Why?

    Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

  • 1

    • Hunter

    • Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.

    The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

    There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

    Asshole

    • A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

    The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

    The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

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    • Friend

    • I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.