FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin? Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday he said it was the most violent book ever
I love you you too I love you you have a good night love 💕 love 💕 I love you you and your mom love ❤️ love ❤️ you have the best friends love 💕 you have fun love 💕 is it good you you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school 🏫 I have fun at home 🏡
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
Me: Spell "I cup."
My Friend: I see you pee.
Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!
My Friend: Oh hehe O-O
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
Like and commet if you will be my friend
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
Dinosaurs be like:
".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
