A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend? Act like a nut.
FRIENDs-Gather here.
Samanthe, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.
My Dearest Friend- C'mon RickRoll ;)
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while, and says: "Long time no see!"
Some guy come to me and said I'm your dad friend.. he ask me to pick you up.. *Laughing freaking hard* and told him you dig the grave?
3 friends go to a water park and meet a genie. “You each get one wish.” “When you get to the top of the slide you shall scream your wish as you go down.” The first man went down the slide and screamed “COCA COLA” and the pool was fuelled with CocaCola. The next ugly ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams “C-M&MS” as if he wasn’t just about to say cum-then the pool was full of cu-⟟ mean M&Ms. The last horny ass bitch is so excited he says “WEEE!” Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pull wasn’t full of Dildos./j
you have to tell this to a friend- There are 30 cows in a field 20 ate(28) chickens how many didn't? A: 10
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
pov: you walk up to your short friend and say how is the weather down there
"When you mom is pregnate and your best friend learns dad jokes" Me:.....
My friends were the pilots on 911 they told me. "bro chill its just a prank."
My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."
Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin? Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died
I gave my blind friend a peice of sand paper, he said it was the most grusome book ever.
You never think of how people will react to an event, my friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery
The tree left him hanging though
I'm not racist, my best friends are black for halloween. :)
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?" Friend: "Yeah, but you are too." Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)
Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
