My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
Greg fucking steals toes!
So a man walks into the bar. The bartender looks to him and says, "You look like you're having a rough day, tell me about it?"
The man then stood up and became Mario!
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
My foot itches.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
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Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
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Q: If you were in a ra
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).
The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
