Food jokes
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
I knead bread.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
Potatoes
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.