Food jokes

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?

I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

A fat man meets a skinny man.

The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...

Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.

What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.

What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?

LIFE.

I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.

Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.

Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.