What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat? The cat is still alive. What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner? Nothing it’s all just mystery meat.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends family and food?
Someone told him that Shelby coming round the mountain.
When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: “Assume we have a can opener…”
I ate the last of my Egyptian food and now I falafel. I don’t know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm… Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie is the second on.” Says the sad.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
Just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, “you have rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you and you’ll only be fed cheese and bologna.”
“Will that cure me?” the patient asks.
“Well, no,” the doctor replies, “but it’s the only food that will fit under the door.”