Food jokes
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
me when i just ate
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.