Food jokes
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
me when i just ate
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.