What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal???
LIFE
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.
then the antidote becomes the most important
why do orphans hate going to costco because they need a parent to get samples
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said you are what you eat. He then proceeded to run away from me.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
Why cant asians play cricket Theyll eat the bat
