What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal???
LIFE
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.
then the antidote becomes the most important
why do orphans hate going to costco because they need a parent to get samples
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said you are what you eat. He then proceeded to run away from me.
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
you so flat you make pancakes look thiccc
you wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "a refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it"
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
What's the difference between eggs, and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
What's great about an emo pizza? It cuts its self yay
