Food jokes
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.
Memes
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Beans
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!