Food

Food jokes

Tomato

  • 🧀: C’mon tomato!

    🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

    🧀: You’re a mile away.

    🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

  • 2
  • Bleach

  • Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

    Friend 2: Pizza.

    Friend 3: Donuts.

    Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

    Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

    Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

  • 2
  • Mary Poppins

  • Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

  • 0
  • Comeback

  • Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?

    Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?

  • 5
  • Girlfriend

  • Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

  • 0
  • Priest

  • What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

    nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.

  • 1
  • People

  • What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

    They don’t cook because they love eating out.

  • 0