Food jokes

What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?

Lady fingers.

Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.

What's a skeleton's favorite food?

Spare ribs.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?

Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?

Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

What country do French Fries come from? Grease.

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?

Mississippi Mud.

Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?

"Because his dad never brought the milk."

What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.

Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

Beans

What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.