Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
