Food jokes

I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.

Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?

It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...

You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)

Do they say you are what you eat?

That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples are picked.

What do emo kids and apples have in common?

They both hang off trees.

What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

I’d be muffin without you.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

Eating a clock is so time-consuming.

U u u u u u I haveggdvk hey apple.

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

I like...

Wendy's.

"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...

Carrots?