Food jokes
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
Memes
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Panera Bread.
At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.
The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.