Food jokes
Panera Bread.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
me in thanksgiving
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Eat cockroaches.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.