Food jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Because their dad never came home from the store.

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

I eat cockroaches.

What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.

What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?

The apple actually gets picked.

Panera Bread.

At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.

The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?

He was roasted.