Food jokes
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Pop a choccy milk!
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.