Food jokes
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Pop a choccy milk!
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.