Food jokes
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Pop a choccy milk!
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.