Food jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.
I woke up and my pillow was gone.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.