Food

Food jokes

Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.

I woke up and my pillow was gone.

What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa

What do you call a cow without any legs?

Ground beef!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?

The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.

How do you get a baby into a small bowl?

A blender.

How do you get it out? Tostito chips.