Food jokes
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
What do you call a pig in the mud?
A Ky hot brown.
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?
A: It cracked up!
What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yull.
Yull who?
You'll be sorry if you eat all the fruitcake!
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺