Food

Food jokes

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.

BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!

Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.

BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!

Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.