Food jokes
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Chicken
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso