Food jokes
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.