Food jokes
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.