Food jokes
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
It's Caesar salad.