Food jokes
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
Why can't orphans have a large bag of crisps?
Because it's family size! 😂
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say Banna? Yup! 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Ass cream.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.