Food jokes
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.