Food jokes
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
It's Caesar salad.
U u u u u u I haveggdvk hey apple.
Eating a clock is so time-consuming.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.