Food jokes
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
It's Caesar salad.
U u u u u u I haveggdvk hey apple.
Eating a clock is so time-consuming.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"