Back
Food

Food jokes

Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.

What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!

PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?

SANS: What?

PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!

SANS: Good one.

Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.

Me: Why?

Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?

They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?

It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!