Food jokes
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
Am I a guard or a guava?
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.