Food jokes
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!