Food jokes
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.