Food Jokes

Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣

What's Japan's favorite hot sauce?

Da Bomb.

How do cows get their milk? The moo market.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Orphans don't get picked.

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?

"What's the big dill?"

The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.

The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.

Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?

Because he didn't want plane.

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

Why was the Pakistani bomber angry? Since he got a pepperoni instead of a plain [pizza].

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Why are emo jokes so infamous?

They cut deep.

Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?

Turns out it was just a phase.

How many emos like anagrams?

Some.

What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?

Emold.

What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?

They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.

What do you call flat-chested emo?

A cutting board.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who cares, let them cry in the dark.

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.

“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”

Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”

How do you pull an emo from a tree?

Cut the rope.

What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?

They’re both white and flavorless.

What do emo birds call their mouths?

Bleaks.

What do you call an obese emo teen?

An edgelord.

Recommended: Fat Jokes

What do you call a gang of emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

How are cats and emos different from one another?

The cat still has 8 other lives.

Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?

They are playing Fruit Ninja.

What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?

Sonic the Edgy hog.

Why would the emo swallow a clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Why are Emos still around?

Because the suffering never ends.

What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?

You encourage them.

What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?

A toaster.

What is the favorite game of an emo?

Hangman.

Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?

So it could cut itself.

A group of friends started an emo salsa band.

They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.

What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?

Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.

Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?

A: Baked potato.

When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked!

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”