Food jokes
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)