Fly jokes
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.
Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away, and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers, and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.