Floor Jokes

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

What goes up and down but stays in the same place?

Stairs.

Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?

Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."

So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see a floor show.

Funny Test Answers #6

A test paper with the title "Pre Test - Answer these questions as accurately as possible" written on it. The student's answers are written in ink. The answers are often unexpected and witty, leading to the teacher giving the student an A+ for creativity and an F for the overall exam. Some of the questions include "In which battle did Napoleon die?", "What is the main reason for divorce?", and "How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?".

Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?

He wanted to mash potatoes!

I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

How to fall down the stairs:

Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.