Flight jokes
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.