Flight

Flight jokes

Plane

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.

Water

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

Kobe

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

Eagle

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

Mom

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Plane

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

People

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

Chicken

If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?

A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.

Kobe

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Dad

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.