Flight Jokes

A Muslim enters a building...

Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.

If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?

A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

yo hairline looking like a flight tragectory path

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

I took a plane to go see my hairline.

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?

A biplane.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.