Flight

Flight Jokes

Water

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

Kobe

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

Eagle

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

Mom

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Plane

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

People

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

Chicken

If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?

A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.

Kobe

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Dad

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

Plane

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.