Flight jokes

Bald Eagle.

What do you call a plane with no wings?

Sally.

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?

A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.