Mary had a great big ram his fleece was white as snow when on hands and knees our Mary went his wad was sure to blow
Month by month her belly grew increasing in it's girth and when five months had flown by our Mary did give birth
And Mary had a little lamb a little lamb, a little lamb....
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library, when we returned them he said “your sister works the returns right” I told him “yes she does and she will be here in about five minutes”. He said “ why don’t we put a cook book in the women’s sports section” I told him “I love it” so I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating causing a tsunami
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
Why do you always high five the emo person... cause can't just leave them hanging.
your forehead is so big that it has five different timezones
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
You don't have a forehead you have a five head.
You don't have dreams you have movies.
Why did dairy queen and burger king get arrested for copywrite infringement? because they gave birth to five guys.
one dollor bill is with a five doller bill. the 5 says " i make more cents then you
My joke: You have to guess answers come at 3:00 Why did the cow jump in space
Hint... it smelled it fav food 🍱 and saw his futu
That hint was technically the whole awnser can you guess in 3 hours lol I will be posting every time and my give away starts at 5:00 my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs
the emo kid went for a high five people say he's still hanging
Every woman will die in five seconds Mother : dies Sister : dies Girlfriend:lives You : 🤬
what comes next in the pattern, ottffs_
s because it represents numbers going up, one two three four five six seven
My sister is the weired dark one and emo of the family im the bright happy one once in 3rd grade i got a huge A on mine and my sis got a D- In the playground Near a tree we were siting and playing i said "hey a C- is not that bad and raised my hand up to give her a high five but she left me hanging
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five, six, and seven-head?
This man came up to me and asked if i could sell my house to him and i said sure then five days later he said that the loan should came in the mailbox then i checked the mail box and the only thing i saw was nothing so i told the guy DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH
Whats the difference between a five year old and and a Democrat.... The five year old doesnt expect you to do everything for them. (Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Sahapiro 2020)
What did the guy with 2 hands say to the guy with 1 hand
Hi-five
