Fives Jokes

Joe mama so fat, when she did the IShowSpeed dance, she fell five floors down.

What has 4 legs and two gloves?

All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

Your hairline was playing Sorry!

Pulled the wrong card and moved back five spaces.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Zamboni

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

Five more days.

Why do emo kids hate high fives?

They’re always left hanging.

What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.

Q: What did the AISH worker do on her lunch break? A: Five Guys.

Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.