Fives jokes
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.
The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate six, five!