Finger

Finger jokes

Uncle

  • When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂

  • 2
  • Depression

  • Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

    Me: Seeing others happy.

    Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?

    Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.

    Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.

    Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...

    Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?

    Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".

  • 1
  • Community talk

  • Scripts.com Bee Movie By Jerry Seinfeld

    NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yell… Read more

  • You can’t allow people to get away with things that are completely over-the-top and outrageous. If you allow your 2 year old to smear the contents of his diapers on the wall of your living room, if you allow your 14 year old to light a joint at the breakfast table, if you allow your hormone-addled 15 year old daughter to slam the door of her bedroom and give you the finger, you’re gonna get MORE OF IT. And those kids… Read more