Finger jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
Yo mama is so fat, she had to snap his finger twice.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?