Film jokes
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.
There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
Memes
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father!"
WALL-E
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.