Film

Film jokes

Cancer

Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."

Corona

Corona be like:

Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.

*snap*

Cow

Why are theaters popular among cows?

They enjoy watching moovies.

Cliffhanger

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

Memes

Uncle

Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."

Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"

Orphan

Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?

A: Because they say "family" too often.

Cow

Why did the cow cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.

Chicken

Why did the chicken enter the cave?

Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.

Beaver

I just watched a documentary about beavers.

It was the best dam show I ever saw!

Orphan

Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?

Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.

9/11

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."

Orphan

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Titanic

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.