Film jokes
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
Memes
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Porn.
Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
How are orphans like Spider-Man?
No way home.
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."