Film jokes
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
So cinema.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)
Porn.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."