Film jokes
What is an orphan's least favorite movie? Home.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Memes
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)
Porn.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
How are orphans like Spider-Man?
No way home.