Film jokes
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
What's an orphan's second favorite movie?
Home Alone 2.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
What is an orphan's least favorite movie? Home.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.
So cinema.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)
Porn.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.