Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
We're taking the orphans to the movies. We are watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What are orphans least favorite movie
The promised never land
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
