Film jokes

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?

In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣

Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:

Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)

East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)

Jew...Rey (Ray)

Black...BB-8 (BBC)

Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)

German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

What is an orphan's least favorite movie? Home.

Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

What do Shrek and onions have in common?

*LAYERS*

Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.

*also him*

Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.

What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

What film do orphans hate?

"Instant Family."

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

So cinema.