Paper Towel jokes

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?

Downey.

Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?

A: Downey.

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.