Fear jokes
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Memes
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.