I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath.....when all of a sudden.....I felt a tap on my shoulder.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 789 well 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to nove
Why Were The Twin Towers Scared At Dinner?
Because There Mom Said "Here Comes The Airplane!"
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Why don't blind people skydive? -- Because it scares their dogs too much!
When the school shooter misses you but you gotta play it off;
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This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
[being buried alive]
murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
