Fear Jokes

Why Were The Twin Towers Scared At Dinner?

Because There Mom Said "Here Comes The Airplane!"

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

Why don't blind people skydive? -- Because it scares their dogs too much!

When the school shooter misses you but you gotta play it off;

😐😑

A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone

horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

[being buried alive]

murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes

(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

I took an hour long shower, the german officers were looking at me kinda scared.

The only thing flat earthers have to fear...

... is sphere itself.

while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank has jotted that down on his notebook he says, "o, i c"