Fear Jokes

while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming

Women: “Men used to go to war now they go to clubs” Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked now it’s $3.99”

I took an hour long shower, the german officers were looking at me kinda scared.

The only thing flat earthers have to fear...

... is sphere itself.

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

Don't be scared of skeletons

They don't have the guts for murder

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID? Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

what do you call it when a man is scared in panera bread

panera dread

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? because he had no balls to do it

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think "Mom's probably going to kill me"

what do you call a running chicken

scared

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him

So a women was paranoid so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed and if the dog licked her hand then she was safe.One night just before bed she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick so she went to bed. She in the middle of the night needed to go to the bathroom. So she walked into the bathroom and on the window it said: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO! Then she was murdered.

Why am I still alive? Pills give me stomache, blood makes faint, height frightens me...

911, what’s your emergency? I asked, and listening to the quiet sobs of a litte kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me” the girl said and cried making me freeze on the spot as i recognized my daughter’s voice.

A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh.. I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO