Fear jokes
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Me: I will rape you!
Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!
Why do women be like this?
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?
They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
What is the biggest fear of firefighters?
Burnout at work.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.