When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
Why did the lion say im faster than you to the cheetah.Because it was Halloween!
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
