Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Your mom!
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
You know, their family dinners must be so happy.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
