Family jokes
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
Has anyone walked in on their parents making love? I have.
Please comment! :)
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!