Family jokes
So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
What am I doing?
Your mom.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?
Son: No.
Dad: It hasn't come out yet.
Memes
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
My mum.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
I'm an orphan, please stop it. It's not nice and it made me cry.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Orphan jokes aren't to be made fun of.
They're just aimed at older audiences. Oh wait.
THEY AREN'T EVEN OLDER AGES.
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.