Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
Family Jokes
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Annie.
Your mom is a joke.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
I took out my mother-in-law, being a sniper, I'd fun.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
