Family jokes

What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."

What's the best part of being an orphan?

All the chips and candy bars are family sized.

Is your dad a magician?

Because he magically disappeared.

What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?

A face full of sperm.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

Fuck, my dad has cancer, lol.

I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.

Stop the orphan jokes!

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke... I was the joke. 😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.

I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.

My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.

If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."

Where is my dad?

Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.