Family jokes
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Question and answer 🙄
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?
"It has no home button."
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.