Family jokes

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?

A face full of sperm.

Stop, orphan joke!

Why does an orphan love baseball? Because their ball comes back, get pranked, bitch!

What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

What did Little Johnny say to his dad?

Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"

A kid was asking a mother for money.

Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.

The kid kept asking the mother for money.

Mother: I already told you I don't have money.

The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!

Orphans can't find the home page.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."

At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

What is a redneck virgin?

A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.

What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?

They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.

Why can't orphans have a girlfriend?

They have no one to call "daddy."

Why can't orphans suck dick?

Because they don't have a stepbro.

I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.

Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.

Son, what is 1 plus 1?

Dad, I don't know.

Son, it is 2.

Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke... I was the joke. 😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.