Family jokes
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?
Been fostered.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
LISTEN ITS GOOD
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
Why can’t orphans live?
They don’t have parents.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
Why do orphans hate the letter F?
Because the F stands for the family that didn't want them.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.