Family jokes
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
You're an orphan.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
I started crying when Dad started cutting onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
Why can't orphans play poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
Your mom!
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.