Family jokes
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Mom, (DYM 147)
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
Mommy kisses my butt.
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
Memes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
There's no parent signature.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.
What's more annoying than uncles?
Ants.
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.