Family jokes
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
Why do orphans miss half the basketball season?
They don't have home games.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
Why can't an orphan go to college?
He needs a parent signature.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.