Family jokes
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Nobody likes you because you are an orphan.
Yo momma so ugly when she the and ugly weird the and she ugly!
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
I love my family when they're buried alive.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Yo mama's so fat, there's not enough yo mama's so fat jokes to tell how fat she is.
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
Why can orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why are orphans gay? Because they can’t come out to anyone.
My step mom walked in naked once. I sky rocketed that day. I was 12.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.