Family

Family jokes

Sister

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

Wife

What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?

Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.

Place

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

Memes

Kid

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.

Orphan

Why do orphans like going to church?

They can actually call someone "father."

Grade

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

Dad

Ur dad is gay!

Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.

I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Orphan

How is sports like regular life for orphans?

They don't get picked for either.

Orphan

Why do orphans miss half their basketball games? Cause they don't have home games.

Orphan

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

Earthquake

There was a house with a three-story building.

The first one had Mexicans.

The second one had Africans.

The third one had white people.

An earthquake came.

But who did survive?

The white family because they were at work.

Brain

Why did my brother cross the road?

Because he was looking for his brain.

Post

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."