Family jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home base.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
That's all is needed to complete my day
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
Your mom is a joke.
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Where's your mom at?
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Why do orphans love to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
Like this joke. Ur mom.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.