Family jokes

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

Your mom gay.

Your momma! OHHHHH!

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.

When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.

He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?

The orphan gets back up.

Bully: Your mom hates you.

Orphan: I don't have parents ;)

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.

Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.

Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?

There isn't any parents on Roblox.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.