Family jokes
I love my family when they're buried alive.
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
Why can orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yo momma so ugly when she the and ugly weird the and she ugly!
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Nobody likes you because you are an orphan.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!