Family jokes
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
Memes
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
Why can't orphan kids play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
They never reached home.
Why can't orphans get a home run?
Because they have no home to run to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home base.
Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?
Why can't orphans play cricket? Because they can't find home.
Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?
Because his last parents existed.