Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
Family Jokes
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
Your mom is fat, and that's a joke.
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
My dad left me.
"Send me back, I never liked you."
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
Your momma!
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
