Family jokes
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"
Dad: "Because I’m gay."
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*
Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"
Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."
The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."
Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"
Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"
Son: "But it was a nightmare..."
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"
The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.